hi, readers. I normally try to avoid two posts in one day, but this one feels warranted.
Let’s not belabor this: if I ever get to write the Expurgated Editions of the Necromancer’s Vengeance series, I will need lots of sensitivity readers. For the BIPOC characters, for the queer characters from demographics I’m not part of and maybe those I am as well, for neurodivergent and disabled characters… I don’t have the time or resources for any of that right now. As an indie author, I may not ever.
So for now, we’ll assume these books aren’t happening. I deleted two of the three pilot posts for many reasons that don’t matter here. I’ve admitted to myself that I deliberately chose to ignore years of warnings and advice from the writing community because I assumed I was special. This is a very common white, privileged writer thing to assume. I then made a bunch of insensitive and harmful writing decisions one would expect of a privileged white writer. This started with my choices, so I don’t think I get to hide behind the word “mistakes”.
No one pushed me to this post. If anything, I wish someone had. My awareness of the choices I made was, and maybe will remain, a psychic Sword of Damocles looming over me. I’m worried that some of my BIPOC friends may have seen or suspected these issues in my writing, and done emotional labor to excuse me to themselves. For my part, I’m just glad to come clean. I’ve been suppressing my own instincts that I’m doing something wrong ever since I realized how diverse a series I was trying to write.
So: I’m sorry. For those who have kept quiet about these things, I hope this gives you some closure. For those who choose to stick around, thank you, and I’ll make sure to earn it. Again, I’m sorry. -Caerllyn McCurdy