High Fantasy Nomads: Let’s Fix This Silliness

Outsiders, I understand. You come to our hidden land expecting wonders and terrors, warriors made peerless by their hardship, the wisdom of wasteland sages. You have been misled. Pop quiz: what’s the best way to learn things in a world which predates the telegraph, let alone the Internet? Is it: 1. Sit on your ass […]

Warcries: The Coolest Thing Fantasy Barely Uses

Just about every individual country on Earth has a multitude of its own, unique warcries. From the classic Russian “Urrraaaaaahhh” to the Teutonic Knights’ “GOTT MITT UNS!” and the U.S. Army’s “Hoo-ah!” it’s hard to find humans at war without warcries. Oh, except in Fantasy. In fantasy humans barely use these outside of Warhammer Fantasy, […]

–DATA EXPURGATED: SPITE’S HARVEST–

–DATA EXPURGATED– –Incoming transmission: Lambent Halcyon –Lambent, Phasewhisper acknowledges. Something to say, old one? –Merely a musing on the Prophet’s idiosyncrasies. Peerless insight into the deepest truths, and yet, such ignoble dross-mire as this archive. –Well, I’ve never seen any evidence that anyone is immune to writing, or saying, some truly foolish things out of […]

Idle Musings: Things I’ve Said That Desperately Need Context and Have None, #2

Sometimes I say (or type) the most fascinating, bizarre, or simply awful things. This is the second selection from those things. “At least I don’t have Roose Bolton’s lips.” “The Official McCurdiverse Advisory Team Greeting is now ‘Blork.’” “You cannot call all of your employees ‘Shitbird Mountain’ and pay them in leftover Halloween candy.” “–milking […]

Art Gallery: The Wismeyer Longsword

Welcome readers! “Dark Helm and Wing’D Spear” returns tomorrow, so this is your last chance to get caught up. Meantime, here’s this! I’m pleased to announce another weapon render–the Wismeyer Longsword! This comparatively simple but lovingly-crafted design completes my triumvirate arsenal for The Necromancer and the Revenant (a high fantasy revenge novel–agent pending!) So here you […]

A Lesson On Unhappy Endings, Featuring Das Boot

Das Boot is one of my all-time favorite films, a movie so well put together that the first few times I watched the Director’s Cut, I watched it from the second half only (the disk was turned the wrong way) and thought I’d seen the whole thing. And that’s not to say seeing the first half […]

–DATA EXPURGATED: SPITE’S FALLOW–

–DATA EXPURGATED– –Transmission Incoming: Lambent Halcyon –Phasewhisper receives. What’s on your mind, Lambent? And don’t you dare answer ‘everything’. –You accuse both unfairly and inaccurately. I never phrase my answers so efficiently; I would say ‘creation’s sum total.’ –You fucker. –Only when I create enough headway to lay my duties aside for a few hours. […]